


The Crashdown

by wwwjudedotcom



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:07:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27360991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wwwjudedotcom/pseuds/wwwjudedotcom
Summary: aka the 24 hour diner au I've been working on for too long. In which the Crashdown is open 24 hours, Alex leaves Roswell at 11 years old, Rosa never dies, and gay stuff happens.This is for Roswell New Mexico Week 2020, each chapter will follow the day's prompt.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 36





	1. Monday, 1:12 A.M.

**Author's Note:**

> For Roswell New Mexico Week Day 1  
> "Love is overrated"

“Love is overrated.” 

The waitress overheard a cynical man on his phone, sitting alone in the only occupied booth in the diner. He had barely touched his order of scrambled eggs, but he had been playing with his fork since he answered his phone. She had topped off his coffee twice, each time without being asked, but he always seemed to appreciate it. He hung up the phone with a sigh, and that’s when she put it together: this was Alex Manes. Former best friend, moved in the beginning of junior high, disappeared off the face of the planet Alex Manes.

“Alex?” 

He turned his head to look at her more closely. He scanned her face, and she saw in his eyes the second he recognized her.

“Liz?”

She gave a small smile. Alex stood up with the help of a crutch Liz hadn’t noticed when he came in. She looked down for a split second and then back up. He reached his free arm out to hug her; she fell just as easily into his hug as she did when she was eleven. 

“Do you have time to sit? Catch up?” Alex asked as they broke away. 

Liz pointedly looked to the empty diner, nodding.

“Not exactly prime time for business, most people are sleeping. If a trucker comes through though, I’ll serve them and then come back, otherwise we should be good.” 

Alex nodded. Liz sat down across from him, taking off her antennae.

“How many-”

“Seventeen years. I got shipped to military school and then the actual military.”

Liz was taken aback by his directness, unable to get eleven year old Alex out of her head. He was always so soft spoken and warm; this Alex was colder and his eye contact never wavered. Liz wasn’t one to ever be speechless, but she couldn’t help it. Alex didn’t speak either, waiting for her to reply. Finally she shook her head, reminding herself that this was still the Alex she knew, that he had asked her to catch up.

“Are you still enlisted? Where are you staying? Are you doing okay?”

Her voice wavered, and Alex looked down at his plate of uneaten eggs. 

“Desk duty for a few more months and then I’m out. I’m staying at the motel near the high school. And okay is a relative term these days.”

He answered each question, but his eyes turned dark.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrogate you, I just,” She took a breath, “It’s just been seventeen years and I, I spent so many of them wondering what happened to my best friend, if he was okay.”

He nodded, “It’s okay, really, it’s just been a long day. Long year I guess.” 

“Wanna talk about it? I can whip up a milkshake for old times sake?”

Alex nodded, “I’d love that.”

“Come sit at the counter so we can talk while I make the shake.”

He nodded again, slowly standing and walking over to the counter. He leaned his crutch against the seat next to him and lifted himself onto the stool with a small groan. 

“Little Green Man okay? I remember it being your favorite.”

She gracefully ignored his groan in favor of the milkshake, and Alex was immensely grateful. He laughed at the thought that for seventeen years Liz Ortecho had kept his favorite milkshake in her head. 

“Yeah, it is. Thanks.” 

It was Liz’s turn to nod as she started making the shake. She gestured to Alex for him to keep talking. He did. 

“Do you need a play by play of the last two decades or can I just start with my shitty year? Save the previous sixteen for a later date?” 

Liz smiled at the thought that they would hang out again, and then it fell when she remembered that he had a shitty year.

“Start wherever you want, I’ll catch up eventually.”

“So I lost my leg last year,” He looked away from her face, not wanting to see her reaction, “Blown to bits in a different desert. It was months of surgery and rehab and therapy and shit,” He took a breath, focusing on the milkshake Liz put in front of him, “Suddenly the one thing I was good at, following orders, giving them, all of that, it was gone. I didn’t know what to do with myself, I still don’t. So they sent me here, desk duty, obviously. I don’t know who thought me coming back here was a good idea, but they figured because my dad was here, I would want to be here.”

He took a breath. He didn’t want to believe an eleven year old Liz would have known his dad was abusing him, especially if the adults in his life couldn’t figure it out either. So he forced himself to explain and make eye contact while he did.

“I want to be so far away from him. He beat me until he got bored and then he sent me to war half a world away. And then they fucking send me back here, just within his reach. And I, I,” He stopped. 

“Alex, I-” Liz breathed out and he could see the pure anger behind her eyes, “Someone should have protected you from him. I know I was only eleven, but fuck, I wish I could have done something.”

“We were kids. It’s okay.”

“It’s not. It’s not okay, Alex. And I know it’s too late to go back and fix any of it, but if I could,” Her eyes filled with tears, “If I could fix any part of this, I would.”

“Nothing to fix, Liz,” He looked down at his leg.

He was unsure if what he said was true, wondering how he felt about it, knowing this piece of metal was part of him, but wishing it wasn’t. There were a lot of things he wished weren’t a part of him. 

“I didn’t mean your leg, I meant,” She paused, “I meant how much you’ve been through, how awful your dad is, how much hurt you’re clearly in.”

He slurped the last of his milkshake. 

“Thanks.”

There was a lull in conversation as Liz cleaned the cup and came back. She could tell he was exhausted despite the multiple cups of coffee she’d served him. His blinks started lasting longer and longer until she thought he was going to fall asleep sitting up.

“Hey, let me call you a cab, you should get some sleep.”

His eyes blinked back open slowly, “But you didn’t get to tell me what you’ve been up to for seventeen years. I just came and dumped all my shit on you.”

“Next time, yeah? I have plenty of shit to dump too. Come back tomorrow if you can, I’m generally around all day.”

He nodded gratefully, stepping off the stool while Liz called the cab. He stretched out his good leg and started walking towards the door. He heard Liz call him back, and he turned around only to be wrapped in a hug.

“So, love is overrated?”

He pulled away, looking puzzled until she spoke again, “I heard bits and pieces of your phone call. I wasn’t eavesdropping, but there’s only so much I can avoid hearing in here. You said love was overrated.” 

“Yeah, too hard to love someone else when-” He cut himself off.

But Liz knew what he was going to say anyways, that it was too hard to love someone else when you didn’t love yourself. 

She nodded in agreement as the headlights from the cab lit up the diner, “Love is overrated.”


	2. Monday, 11:43 P.M.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex meets Michael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Roswell New Mexico Week 2020 Day 2  
> "I don't owe you an explanation."

Alex hung up the phone with a sigh as he walked through the door of the Crashdown. He made eye contact with Liz, and she nodded in the direction of the corner while holding up a finger. After she served the only other customer a cup of black coffee, she made a milkshake for Alex and brought it over with fries. 

“Everything okay?” She asked, sliding into the booth. 

“My brother wants to know why I haven’t told him I’m in town.”

“Why didn’t you?” Liz asked gently, giving him room to not answer. 

“My dad, but I don’t wanna talk about it. Let’s talk about you.”

Alex let out a sigh, dipping a fry into his shake. He just wanted to sit and pretend he was eleven and talk to Liz. He missed listening to her talk; she was always so insightful, even as an eleven year old. All Alex wanted from the rest of the day, all seventeen minutes of it, was to listen to Liz talk. 

“Well,” Liz stole a fry and started talking, “I went to school, graduated in three years to save money. Then I ran out of money, so I came back here to help my dad with the diner. I still have no money but at least I’m not paying rent. I don’t mind working here really. I just, I wish I was doing something remarkable. It’s been seven years, and I still don’t know what to do with my life, you know?”

She paused, waiting for Alex to say something. He didn’t. He just nodded like he didn’t know what to do about her dilemma either. 

“Hey, I don’t mean to interrupt, but can I grab another cup?”

A voice from the counter broke the silence. Liz nodded, and Alex took a longer look at the man. He was wearing a black cowboy hat, but he didn’t seem like a cowboy. His curls were sticking out, and Alex wanted to see what he looked like without the hat on. Liz made small talk while pouring his coffee, just out of Alex’s earshot. The cowboy turned to look at Alex, meeting his eyes. Alex didn’t look away. He stood up and walked over with Liz. 

“Michael’s gonna join us, I feel bad leaving him all by himself,” Alex gave Liz a questioning look, and then she explained further, “I dated his brother, Max. We got close too, and when Max and I broke up, we stayed friends. Well, me and Michael, not me and Max.” 

“So not just a trucker coming through at midnight, got it.”

“I work at the junkyard. If I become a trucker, please kill me,” Michael said with a laugh that made everyone at the table laugh too.

“Maybe I should become a trucker,” Liz pondered.

When both men looked at her like she was going crazy, she just said, “Hey, at least then I’ll be out of Roswell, actually see the world.”

“You don’t need to see the world, you have us,” Michael said, like he and Alex were a unit. 

It made Alex feel a certain way in his stomach, like the promise of a future. 

“When you put it like that, maybe Liz should get out of here,” Alex joked to ease the tension he felt in his stomach.

Alex leaned back into the booth and bumped into Liz’s shoulder on purpose. Michael laughed again. It unraveled Alex’s insides. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but something about the way he laughed was almost magical. 

“This town has a pull, I don’t think I’m leaving.”

Everyone stopped laughing at that, at the look in her eyes.  
“You left for three years, though, that’s big,” Alex tried.

“And now I’m here. Like I never left.”

Michael felt the tension but spoke anyways, “I never left, and I’m still here. And I know you guys don’t talk anymore, but Max is here too. He never left. Sometimes people are meant to stay, Liz.” 

“Some people are meant to stay,” Liz whispered, “I just didn’t think it would be me.”

“I wish I stayed,” Alex said softly, imagining where he would be if he had stayed.

He imagined where he would be if his mom stayed, if he stayed with her instead. Or would he still have managed to be sitting here after fighting wars and losing a limb?

“Can you imagine all three of us in high school?” Michael said, shooting Liz a conspiratorial look.

“Wait, did you guys go to high school together?” Alex asked.

“Middle school too. Although we were more like acquaintances then. Only connected through Max, really, and our AP classes,” She rolled her eyes at that, “You guys just missed each other.” 

They looked at each other, having a silent conversation. A conversation that was full of what if’s and I wish I knew you then’s. Liz raised her eyebrow, clearly left out of the conversation that wasn’t spoken. 

“What was that look for?” Liz asked.

The look continued; Liz scoffed, “Fine, don’t tell me.”

Michael shook his head, “Just thinking about what could have been if I got here sooner, or if you left later. You think we would’ve been friends?”

Alex smiled, “Oh, we definitely would not have been friends, I had one friend and you’re looking at her. Also, no offense but if I had stayed here in high school, I would have made sure to have queer friends. Power in numbers and all that.” 

“So you would have ditched me for a cute guy? Rude,” Liz said, taking his coming out exactly how he assumed she would.

“I’m bisexual. So that means we would have been friends.”

Alex’s eyes widened, “I didn’t, I mean, I just,” He paused, trying to find words, “The hat threw me off.”

Michael laughed and took his hat off, “Do I look more bisexual now?” 

Alex nearly passed out. His curls were even more wild without the hat. How did hair get that color? How could hair look like that? He was at a loss for words, so he just nodded.

“Good.”

There was a comfortable silence where Alex just stared at Michael, and Michael stared at his cowboy hat. Liz got up with the empty shake cup and the fry basket. 

“I didn’t mean to listen in earlier, Liz just grabbed me, felt bad.”

Alex shook his head, “Don’t worry about it. Honestly it’s a welcome distraction. My brother’s been mad at me for not telling him I’m back in town. I just want to talk to Liz, and now you, and not think about it, you know?” 

“I get it. Is it helping?”

Alex nodded, “Yeah, actually. Imagining what we would have been like in high school, in Roswell. It’s nice.”

“I’d prefer to imagine the future.”

“I just wish I had a different past, so then I’d have a different future. But you can’t change it, so,” Alex trailed off.

“Three things you’d change, right now, go. I’ll go after,” Michael said, almost but not quite challenging.

Too quickly, like he didn’t even have to think about it, Alex said, “My mom would have taken me with her when she left. That would have changed more than three things. So it’s the thing I would change. I would’ve stayed in Roswell with her, stayed friends with Liz, never been shipped off to military school or Iraq.” 

Michael nodded, understanding that changing one thing changes everything. Michael flexed his hand, and Alex noticed it for the first time. It looked like his hand had been broken and not healed properly. The scarring was thick, and it looked painful, even so long after. 

“What are your three?”

“One,” Michael took a deep breath, “One, I would have found my siblings sooner. Two, I would have run away smarter and sooner. Three, I would have stayed in Roswell.”

Michael didn’t elaborate, but Alex could tell he wanted to, so he said, “What would those things have changed?”

“One, I would’ve grown up with a family, even if I didn’t have parents. Two, my hand wouldn’t have been smashed by a drunk foster dad at sixteen. Three, if you stayed in Roswell too, we would’ve met.” 

Alex blinked in shock, “You would waste one of your three things on me?”

And full of sass, Michael said, “I don’t owe you an explanation.”


	3. Thursday, 7:32 P.M.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex runs into Rosa, meets Isobel, and kisses Michael, in that order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Roswell New Mexico Week Day 3  
> "You don't have to be gentle with me, I don't break easily."

“You’re here early, everything okay? You haven’t been in for a while.”

Liz looked concerned, so Alex made sure to smile and nod. He was actually okay this time.

“Great, actually.”

She brought over coffee and sat down.

“Dad’s leaving Roswell, the country, for six months. I feel like I can breathe for the first time in, in a long time. Even if I live in a shitty motel, even if I hate desk duty, even if I feel useless, I’ll be safe.” 

Liz’s eyes widened, “He’ll be gone? Alex, that’s amazing.”

He smiled one of his first real smiles in weeks, maybe months. It was a weird feeling, someone caring enough to be happy for him. He thought he could get used to it. 

“Do you think you’ll stay in Roswell?”

He heard a voice from the other side of the bar, next to Liz.

“Rosa? Holy shit.”

She smiled, “Alex Manes came back to Roswell and nobody told Rosa. Shocker.”

Alex laughed, looking at Liz, “Really Liz? I wasn’t important enough to mention?”

Liz looked between Alex and Rosa, half embarrassed and half laughing. Rosa wasn’t really mad; she side hugged Liz, and then hopped over the counter to hug Alex. He was a little shocked but leaned in anyways. He always liked Rosa, her spunk, even at twelve. She clearly hadn’t lost it. 

“When did you get hot?” Rosa stepped back, looking him up and down.

“Well I was eleven so, probably sometime in the last few years?” He laughed, “Also, I got gay too, just so you know.”

Rosa’s jaw almost hit the floor, “Shit, me too. Must be something in the water.” 

Alex wasn’t that surprised, if he was honest with himself, Liz would’ve been a shock, but Rosa? Punk in middle school, drew on her walls, lit shit on fire Rosa? Not a real shock. He kept that to himself though.

Instead he asked, “Do you have a girlfriend?”

He could tell by the lovesick look on her face that the answer was yes, but she added quietly, “Isobel. She’s great. I think you’d get along. Although I’m sure you’ve changed in the last seventeen years. But you still seem pretty cool. Plus her brother is queer too,” She paused, giving Alex a look, “You’d probably get along better with him.”

“They do get along pretty well,” Liz added, coming back from the kitchen with fries and offering some to her sister.

Alex looked confused. He’d been in Roswell for a week. How did he know Rosa’s girlfriend’s brother? He’d only met Michael. That was where he had been for the past few nights instead of the Crashdown. Michael had taken him to the Wild Pony, to his airstream. To a spot in the middle of the desert that seemed important to him so now it was important to Alex, even though he hated deserts. Time with Michael was spent talking about everything and nothing and filled with so many moments of almost kissing. It felt like the beginning of something, and Alex hadn’t had that in he couldn’t remember how long. He knew he’d be leaving in a few months, but figured he would savor the time he got with Michael. 

“Michael? Isobel’s brother is Michael? Wasn’t Michael Max’s brother?”

Liz sighed; Alex made a mental note that Max was a sore spot, but it was too late now. 

“Max, Isobel, and Michael were found together when they were seven. Max and Isobel were adopted. Michael wasn’t as lucky, but he made his way back here. They reconnected.”

Rosa spoke, “They’re all super close. High school was rough for them, I saw from afar. That’s when I met Isobel. We didn’t start dating till she came back from college though.”

“She majored in interior design. You should ask her to help decorate your motel room, if you’re gonna be here for a minute. Or maybe find an apartment here, if you wanna stay.” 

“Haven’t really thought that far ahead, Liz,” Her face fell, so Alex added, “But maybe I’ll see about getting a new bedspread or a painting for my motel room. It’s not the coziest.”

Alex couldn’t imagine himself staying in Roswell, but his dad was gone, Michael was here, so he let himself be comfortable here for now.

“Speaking of…” Rosa trailed off, holding her phone up for everyone to see the text from Isobel: Michael and I are coming by the Crashdown!! He needs food (he hasn’t eaten all day) and I need my girlfriend (I haven’t seen her all day). 

Alex felt his heart skip a beat when he read Michael’s name. He didn’t think too hard about what that meant. Instead he stole a fry, waiting for the door to open and Michael (and Isobel, of course) to come walking in.

“I’ll start the food. Want anything, Alex?” Liz asked.

His stomach answered for him, but he just asked for a burger while laughing. Something about being surrounded by his childhood friends made him feel lighter, more capable of laughter. He heard Rosa giggle before the door opened. Isobel walked in, smiling at Rosa’s reaction to her entrance. Michael followed slowly, the expression on his face unreadable.

“Isobel, meet Alex, we knew him when he was what, ten, eleven? Anyways, Isobel, meet Alex. Alex, meet Isobel.” 

“Hi, nice to meet you,” Alex said, mind distracted by Michael taking a seat in a booth across the diner. 

“So formal, is he always like this?” Isobel asked Rosa. 

Rosa just shrugged, “I don’t know, he was eleven the last time I saw him.”

Alex heard Michael’s voice, “That’s just how he is, Iz.” 

Isobel nodded, shaking Alex’s hand, “Fair enough, nice to meet you too.”

Liz brought out Michael and Alex’s food and started to walk to Michael, but Alex took the plate out of her hand. He balanced his own plate with Michael’s, grabbed his crutch and started towards Michael.

“Hey, you okay?” Alex asked, setting down the plates and sliding as gracefully as he could into the booth. 

Michael barely looked up, but he nodded, “Yeah, long day. Not really in the mood to talk about it.”

Alex nodded, both of them slipping into silence while they ate. They finished up, but they were still sitting in silence. The only noise was Isobel, Liz, and Rosa talking.

“Hey, do you want to not talk about it outside? Get some fresh air?” Alex asked, poking at Michael’s hand.

Michael looked up. He seemed surprised that Alex was still there. But he nodded anyways, standing up and making his way to the door. Michael held the door for Alex, and they both stepped outside. They slipped into another comfortable silence.

Alex was halfway staring at Michael’s hair, the way the streetlight reflected on it, made it glow. His mind went blank, and for once he didn’t mind. His mind was so blank that when Rosa and Isobel slipped out the front door and the bell jingled, he nearly jumped out of his skin. They gave him a weird look, but didn’t say anything about it.

“Can you give Michael a ride home? Me and Iz are going to see a movie,” Rosa asked, like it wasn’t an option for him to refuse.

He nodded but would’ve said yes anyways. Michael said bye to Iz, and the happy couple took off. Both of them rolled their eyes at the way Rosa and Isobel giggled as they walked away. 

“They’re kind of impossibly happy, huh?” Alex asked quietly. 

“Yeah, Rosa’s good for her.” 

Alex felt the air tighten, like the weight of something unsaid was pressing too hard. Like the implication of Rosa being good for Isobel meant Michael wasn’t good for… whoever he was with. Alex realized he didn’t know if Michael was seeing anyone and he desperately hoped he wasn’t. The last few days made Alex think he wasn’t seeing anyone, but he didn’t want to assume wrong. They both stayed quiet, and then Alex found the words.

“You’re good for people, Michael.” 

“You don’t know that. You just met me.” 

“Yeah, but Liz knows you. Rosa knows you. They keep you around. They wouldn’t do that if they didn’t like you, if you weren’t good for them.” 

Michael shook his head, but he didn’t respond. 

“And I want to know you,” Alex added softly, “You used one of your three chances to change the past on me. How could I not want to know you?” 

Michael laughed, looking up at Alex. Alex’s eyes were serious though, and he immediately stopped laughing. Michael leaned in slowly, giving Alex a chance to stop him. He didn’t. Alex thought if Michael had tried to kiss him like this in the last four days, he wouldn’t have tried to stop him then either. 

Michael kissed him like he was scared of breaking him, and while that was so god damn endearing to Alex, he wanted more. He leaned further into the kiss before pulling away to say, “You don’t have to be gentle with me, I don’t break easily.” He couldn’t tell how much time had passed by the time they finally came up for air. They broke apart when they heard Liz exit the diner.

“Hey, you guys okay out here?”

They shared a look, and Liz made a face.

“Rosa owes me ten bucks. She thought it would take you guys longer to make out. I knew it’d be within the week.” 

“I- We- We-“

“No, we just-” 

Alex and Michael spoke at the same time, faces flushed. 

“Don’t be embarrassed, you just made me money,” Liz laughed before heading back inside, content they were fine outside.

As soon as Liz left, they burst into laughter. 

“Iz definitely told Rosa that I’d been spending all my free time with you. And you know Rosa told Liz, so…” Michael trailed off, uncharacteristically embarrassed. 

Alex decided it was because of his long day. Michael had been off since walking in, and only after deciding to kiss him was mostly back to himself. It was also uncharted territory for both of them, neither was sure how the other felt. 

“If it helps, I was spending all my free time with you too,” Alex confessed, hoping his intentions were clear. 

By the look on Michael’s face, they were.

“Oh, it helps,” Michael quietly, leading him to the car which would take them to what had very quickly become their spot in the desert.


	4. Monday, 4:02 A.M.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Liz bonding over alien romance; Rosa and Alex talk about Michael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Roswell New Mexico Week Day 4  
> "I'm going to ignore you said that."

Alex walked in, tired but unable to sleep. His shift was in two hours, and he knew he couldn’t go back to sleep in his motel room. He could see the bags under Liz’s eyes from across the diner. He debated leaving, letting her shift end without seeing him so she could sleep. But he had a feeling that even if he left, she wouldn’t be sleeping. Instead he walked in and sat next to her. Liz was so tired that she didn’t even notice Alex. 

“Hey, you okay?” He asked gently, wrapping an arm loosely around her, so she could move out of his reach if she wanted; she didn’t have enough energy to be startled by his presence. 

He wasn’t even sure if he was okay, but a distraction was maybe something he needed. It was four in the morning, and he hadn’t slept in days. It was Alex’s brain that told him something awful was going to happen and he would be unprepared because he’d be asleep. His last full night of sleep was Monday and it was barely four hours. He almost fell asleep twice with Michael yesterday, but he forced himself awake both times.

Liz mumbled something Alex didn’t catch as she leaned in, resting her head against his shoulder.

“You want what?” He forced his brain to pay attention. 

She groaned, speaking louder, “I want Max. But I messed up. And now the two people closest to me are dating his siblings. And I want them to be happy, but I’m just not happy even when I should be.” 

“We aren’t dating. I’m not sure if we’re dating. We haven’t talked about it. It doesn’t matter, I’m sorry. You deserve to be happy.”

“I know. I just don’t know how. Max made me happy, made me feel things I haven’t felt. In a good way.” 

Alex nodded, tightening his hold on her. He knew the way she felt. It was the way he was starting to feel about Michael. Even after only a few days, if he lost that feeling, he didn’t know how he’d feel.

“It’s just a reminder that Max hates me, every time Isobel and Michael come in here without him.” 

“He doesn’t hate you Liz,” Alex said, unsure about what happened between them; but the thought of anyone hating Liz was so unrealistic that he knew he was right. 

Liz sighed.

“Let me make you a milkshake this time?” 

She nodded, extracting herself from Alex. He made the milkshake with ease, surprising both himself and Liz. 

“Damn, when you’d learn how to do that?” Her voice sounded more stable, but he could feel her exhaustion. 

“Honestly? I have no clue. Maybe seeing you do it every time I’ve come in has imprinted on my brain.” 

Liz laughed. Alex felt successful, even though telling Liz Max didn’t hate her and making her a milkshake wasn’t a solution to her problem. Still, he felt a small sense of satisfaction at making her laugh. He was still exhausted, but he was productive, had a purpose. 

“Nobody could hate you. And if Max does, then he’s an idiot who doesn’t deserve you anyways, and you’ll find someone ten million times better.”

“I’m going to ignore you said that.”

“Why? It’s true. If he can’t see how great you are, then that’s his loss. You’re brilliant, Liz. You finished school in three years. You’re generous, kind, sometimes funny,” Alex started, trying to get Liz to see how absolutely awesome she was, “I’ve been back for a week and you’ve already made me feel more at home here than I’ve felt in a long time. If Max can’t see how incredible you are, then he doesn’t get to have you.” 

Liz started crying while Alex was talking. Alex realized it a little bit too late, so he wrapped her in a hug to make up for it. 

“I’m sorry, Liz.” 

She shook her head, “Nothing to be sorry for, Alex. That’s actually the nicest thing I think anyone’s said to me in a while”

When’s your shift over?” 

After a glance at the clock, Liz said, “Now. Rosa should be down soon. I promise I’ll sleep.” 

Rosa walked in from upstairs, rubbing her eyes. 

“Go to bed, Liz.” 

She was awake enough now to be startled by her sister, but as soon as she looked at Rosa, she let out a massive yawn. She nodded, slowly making her way upstairs. 

“So, what’s going on?” Rosa asked, like she expected Alex to break, like he was the one who was as emotional as Liz was. 

“Liz misses Max. I don’t know what happened but she thinks he hates her. And then we talked about Michael.”

“Yeah, I don’t care about that. I know all that. I meant what’s going on with you? As in why are you here at four in the morning?” 

Alex sighed. He didn’t want to lie to Rosa, as much as he didn’t want to talk about himself. He made the split second decision to talk. He figured that he wouldn’t be in Roswell long, so if he spilled his guts to Rosa, he would only be embarrassed for a few months at most. He took a deep breath before starting. 

“I haven’t been sleeping. My brain doesn’t want to shut off. I’m just so tired of my brain being like this. And then I start overthinking everything with Michael. I didn’t tell him anything about my brain being a pile of mush. And then I feel guilty about that, like I’m misleading him or something.” 

“Can I say something?” Rosa asked when Alex paused to take a breath. 

He nodded, and she continued, “First, you don’t have to tell anyone about anything you don’t want to. Second, you are absolutely not misleading Michael by not talking about things you aren’t comfortable with. He’ll get it, when you’re ready though.” 

Alex looked at her, a question mark inside his eyes. 

“Not my shit to share, but I don’t think you have anything to feel guilty about, and I think you should give him some more credit.” 

He nodded but wasn’t any less confused. Rosa nodded too, making herself a cup of coffee. 

“So besides overthinking, how did it go with Michael?” 

“We had breakfast this morning. Yesterday morning, technically.” 

“Here?” Rosa asked, trying to remember if she saw them this morning. 

Her shift was always the crack of dawn until after the lunch rush. She would’ve remembered seeing Michael and Alex, even if there had been other customers. 

“He made me eggs in his airstream. Small kitchen, but we ate outside and it was nice.” 

“Damn one of you lives in a motel and one of you lives in an airstream. Not exactly a lot of room for...” Rosa trailed off, halfway laughing. 

“Rosa! We aren’t even doing anything that requires that much room... Yet.” 

Rosa nearly spit out her coffee, “But you want to?” 

Alex nodded, face the color of a stop sign. He couldn’t believe he was talking to Rosa about himself like this. He didn’t even know how Michael felt. He was just nice to talk to and make out with. 

“I don’t even know what we are. But he’s smart, like really smart. And he says what he means,” Alex took a breath, remembering last night. 

They didn’t have sex, but they got as close as they could. They did more talking than making out surprisingly. Both Alex and Michael, mostly Michael, had been in relationships where it went from great to awful because they didn’t talk. Neither of them wanted that this time.

“He’s kind, like really kind. He thinks about what he’s doing for other people more than he thinks about doing anything for himself. He cares so much. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who cares so much about the people he loves,” He paused, knowing this was probably way too fast, but feeling it anyways, “I just want to be one of them one day.” 

Alex felt a small smile growing. Rosa didn’t respond, just smiling back.


	5. Friday, 8:12 P.M.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A double date, plus Michael and Alex communicate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Roswell New Mexico Week Day 5  
> Freaky Friday (Character Subversion, AU's, etc.)
> 
> This is already an AU but I think these four specifically going on a double date would be super out of character even though I had a great time writing it.

“Who decided this? And when? Why are we doing this?”

Michael and Alex were standing outside the Crashdown. Michael had just found out about their double date with Rosa and Isobel. Neither of them knew about this two hours ago, but Rosa texted Alex and told him that Isobel wanted to go on a double date and that they were the only almost couple friends they had.

“Rosa acted like everyone had already agreed! How am I supposed to tell her no?” 

“You just send back no! Tell her you don’t want to,” Michael said, his voice loud. 

“What if I want to? What if I like the idea of spending the night with you, Rosa, and Isobel?” 

Alex actually wasn’t that upset about it. He was enjoying the company of his friends. It helped bring him out of his head, and he liked being reminded of the good things about Roswell. He was, however, very concerned about Michael’s full blown panic attack over this. 

“Seriously?” 

“Hey, we don’t have to if you don’t want to. But can we talk about why? I know it’s early, but it seems like less of a double date and more of a,” Alex paused, trying to find the right words, “A group of friends hanging out.” 

“It’s not that it’s early, I just-“ Michael stopped.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I’d like to understand.” 

“I want to know more about you, want to spend time with you before Isobel grills you. Or before Rosa gives me shit for something you don’t know about me. Or if some kind of deal breaker comes up in front of them, you know? And they’re there to witness whatever fall out happens. These last few weeks have been so good, Alex. I don’t want something to go wrong this early.” 

It made sense, Alex thought. The fear of something going wrong. He didn’t know what would be a dealbreaker, but it had only been almost two weeks of them hanging out and making out and things were good. The last week in Roswell had felt like three years, and for once Alex thought that was a good thing. He was savoring the time with his friends, but he was savoring the time he got with Michael too, feeling like he’d known him forever. But they hadn’t known each other forever; there were still things they didn’t know about each other. 

“Okay, then tell me the things you don’t want them to tell me. We have a few minutes,” Alex paused, thinking of his conversation with Rosa, “I’ll tell you things about me too. If you want.” 

Michael turned his death stare from the ground to Alex, but his eyes had softened by the time they reached Alex’s. He nodded, asking Alex to go first. Alex took a deep breath but agreed. It wasn’t fair to ask Michael to share if he wasn’t willing to go first. 

“There’s a couple things. I hope they aren’t deal breakers,” He took a deep breath, “I’m kind of terrified of showing you my leg. I know you said you’re okay with it, but some part of me thinks you won’t be. It’s ridiculous, and it probably won’t come up because most people don’t bring it up, but I think this is just something I’m scared of being a dealbreaker. I also haven’t been sleeping, but that’s a whole other thing I don’t want to get into right now. And if it’s okay with you, I’d rather do that not right before we walk into a public place.” 

Michael’s eyes filled with tears as Alex’s voice began to break. The tears didn’t fall, and Michael grabbed his hand. He searched for the right words, knowing sometimes he spoke without thinking, knowing this was too important to mess up. 

“We don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to talk about. And I don’t know how to make you trust me, so I’ll just tell you that when you’re ready, when you’re comfortable, I promise your leg will not be a dealbreaker,” He kissed Alex softly, then pulled away, “I promise that you won’t be a dealbreaker, Alex.” 

Alex let out a breath, letting himself kiss Michael once more when he was done talking. His heartbeat had settled, his nerves calming with just Michael’s touch. 

“Thank you,” Alex didn’t want to push either, but he knew that Rosa and Isobel were probably almost at the diner, so he pushed just a little bit, “What kind of stuff did you want to tell me?” 

Michael sighed, “You already know about the foster homes, my hand, but it’s kind of more than that? I’ve never really felt at home anywhere. And when Max and Isobel came back, it was, it was rough at first. I was awful to both of them. Truly awful. I was scared they were going to leave again. Not again, because it wasn’t their choice to leave the first time, but I just felt like they were two seconds from leaving. So I tried to push them away before I got left.” 

Alex nodded, understanding that sometimes pushing people away was easier than staying.

“Okay,” Alex whispered. 

“That’s it? You don’t hate me?” 

“Why would I hate you? You were in a rough spot, I can’t blame you. You’re not awful now though, so that’s good,” He tried for a joke at the end, but it fell flat. 

“So no dealbreakers then? We can do our dumb double date?” Michael asked nervously. 

“No dealbreakers for me. I’m ready when you are,” Alex said. 

Michael nodded, opening the door for Alex. They both stepped through and saw Isobel and Rosa sitting at a corner booth. 

“When did you guys get here?” Michael asked. 

“We were upstairs for a bit, we came down like ten minutes ago,” Isobel calmly answered for them both. 

Michael turned to look at Alex, fear on his face at keeping them waiting. Alex quickly and lightly touched his hand, trying to comfort him. 

“Sorry we kept you, it was my fault. I got,” Alex paused, searching for the right word, trying to find something that Rosa or Isobel couldn’t twist into something sexual, “I got distracted, lost track of time.” 

Rosa and Isobel still tried to hide their giggles, but they could see the seriousness on Alex’s face and reigned it in. Alex and Michael both slid into the booth at the same time that Liz brought over four plates of food. She seemed happier than she had the last time Alex had seen her. She didn’t say anything, and there was a dinner rush, so Alex decided to pry later. 

“Her and Max are back together,” Rosa said, plopping a fry in her mouth.

“-ish, back together-ish were her exact words,” Isobel said, reaching across her own plate without fries to grab one of Rosa’s. 

Alex expected Rosa to complain about it, but she just ignored it. Michael looked like he had seen this scene a thousand times and he probably had. 

“Liz could’ve brought you your own fries, you know.” 

“But they wouldn’t be as good as Rosa’s,” Isobel clipped back, taking another one. 

Alex shrugged and held his hands up as Rosa agreed with her girlfriend. Michael laughed under his breath. He was silently enjoying seeing Alex and Isobel interact. Alex turned to look at Michael before grabbing one of his fries even though he had a plate of his own. Michael eyed him but just took a fry from Alex’s plate.

“So, Alex,” Isobel started, “Rosa says you want help decorating an apartment or something? Anything I can help with? To be fair though, you seem very no nonsense in your decorating, so I don’t know how much help I’d be.” 

Alex thought about it for a minute, chewing on the bite of burger he had in his mouth. He’d never had a place of his own to decorate, so he didn’t know what he liked. He told Isobel as much and she nearly gasped. He didn’t say he still might not have a permanent place, but if he could make that motel room a little more comfortable, he’d do it. 

“Okay so I’m definitely helping. Sorry, Michael.” 

Michael had been talking to Rosa about something else, but he turned his head at the mention of his name. He seemed to know exactly what they were talking about though. His gaze went briefly to Alex before eyeing Iz. 

“Don’t be sorry. If this means my boyfriend is sticking around for longer, I’ll take what I can get.” 

Alex nearly choked on his fries. Boyfriend. Michael had just used the word boyfriend. At a table with his sister and her girlfriend. Michael was quiet, letting everyone at the table absorb the new information. Alex decided he could pull out one more moment of courage for the night. 

“And hey, I’ll probably be a disaster at decorating, so who am I to stop my boyfriend’s sister from helping me if she really wants to?” 

Alex didn’t meet Michael’s eye after that, but he could see his facial expression, and it was satisfying to see him as caught off guard as Alex had been. Rosa just nodded, started talking about if Alex was going to get a place more permanent than the motel, listing real estate sites. Michael could tell it overwhelmed Alex, so he rested a hand on his thigh, rubbing small circles with his thumb. 

“I don’t know yet. I haven’t thought that far ahead. There are things for me here, and my dad’s gone. So yeah, this seems like a place I could be happy, but I still don’t know what I’m doing when I get out. So I have to figure that out first.” 

He knew he wouldn’t take much convincing. Especially if Michael asked him to stay. Alex wasn’t sure he would, wasn’t trying to hope for it, but he couldn’t help the thought briefly dancing through his mind. 

“Either way, you better stay in touch. I missed out on your formative gay years, I’m not missing anymore,” Rosa commented, trying to sound casual. 

“I’m not missing anymore either,” He replied easily. 

He could hear Michael let out a deep breath. 

“And once I figure it out,” Alex said, turning to look at Michael, “My boyfriend will be the first to know.”


	6. Saturday, 10:34 A.M.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex stays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Roswell New Mexico Week Day 6  
> "Stay."

“I don’t want to pressure you. I know that you said you would figure it out by yourself and that I would be the first to know, but I,” Michael paused. 

Alex jumped in, “Do you want to help me make the decision? Help me work through it?” 

“Stay.” 

The word came out before Michael could stop it. He looked shocked even though he was the one who spoke. He panicked and started to ramble. 

“I have a pros and cons list. I’ve been working on it since you brought up staying. I don’t know exactly what kind of place Roswell was for you when you were younger, but you get to choose who you surround yourself with now, so I didn’t put anything about childhood stuff on the list. I didn’t know what to put. But you can definitely add to the leave side. If you want, I just-“ 

He pulled out a piece of paper, clearly well worn from writing and erasing and folding over again. Alex let out a laugh, even though he was fully prepared to stay for Michael. But he took the paper anyways. Or at least he tried to. Michael didn’t let him. 

“I don’t want this list to completely change what you’re thinking if you already have an idea, but I think it’s a start. And I want to read it to you.” 

Alex nodded, hiding a small smile. There was clearly one side with more writing on it. He had a feeling it was the stay side. Michael took a deep breath before he started. 

“One, Liz and Rosa would miss you if you left. I think that it would be harder to stay in touch if you were further away. And I know they would miss you. Two, if you got an apartment here, I could help make it accessible. I’m good with tools and my hands,” He smirked at his flirt. 

“Oh, I know you’re good with your hands.” 

Liz chose that moment to walk over and laughed when she saw Michael’s face. She set down their breakfast, looked around at the mostly empty diner, and sat down next to Alex. 

“So, we’re talking staying in Roswell? And also Michael’s hands?” She asked. 

“He started it,” Alex defended himself, smiling anyways. 

“It was an accident, I’m trying to get him to stay,” Michael confessed. 

Alex quickly turned to face Michael. That wasn’t a question. It wasn’t Michael asking him, but it was something. 

“You’re trying to get me to stay?” He asked, trying to see if Michael would ask him outright. 

In all honesty, Alex already had his own list. There were pros, obviously: Liz, Rosa, having a place to call home. He’d been looking at jobs and there was an opening as a music teacher, so he had some idea of what to do after he was out. Michael was definitely on the pro side of his list. And if his name just happened to be written slightly bigger than his career or the word home, then that was no ones business. The only con Alex could think of was his father, but according to Flint, who had been surprisingly kind to him since he’d been back, his dad would be moving to New York to start a new assignment. It was supposed to be as permanent as you could get in the air force. If Flint was right, Alex didn’t see a reason he shouldn’t stay. He didn’t know where he’d go if he left. 

Liz turned to look at Michael who just closed his eyes like he was trying to figure out what to do. She nudged him, then whispered something in his ear. He nodded, then looked like he was gathering courage. 

“Alex. I don’t want to influence your decision to stay. I don’t want you to stay and end up unhappy and have me be the reason for that. But I’m asking you to stay anyways. Will you stay?” 

Alex looked at Liz, wondering how she got Michael to ask him to stay, wondering how she knew that’s what he wanted in the first place. His lack of response was clearly making Michael nervous, but he couldn’t find the words. 

“Alex?” Liz prodded. 

He just nodded, still looking at Michael. 

“I just,” He couldn’t explain it. 

How was he supposed to tell Michael that nobody had ever wanted him to stay before? That just asking that had already made Alex want to stay? That Michael made Alex want to stay wherever he was, even if it wasn’t Roswell? Even if it was. His stay side of the list kept growing, his concerns about his father kept shrinking. 

“I’m staying.” 

Michael’s eyes widened, and Liz let out a whoop that caused half the diner to look at her like she was crazy. 

“Reason number three,” Michael said, pulling Alex’s face closer to his, “I can do this whenever I want to.” 

Michael placed his hands on Alex’s face, lips barely brushing his. He pulled away slowly, leaving Alex feeling like mush inside. 

“You should’ve led with that.” 

“I would’ve if I knew it would be that easy.” 

There was a comfortable silence at the table in which Liz got up and went back to work. Alex signed with contentment; knowing he had a plan did wonders for his mind. It had stopped racing the way it had been the last few days. He was always leaning towards staying, but his brain wouldn’t stop trying to think of reasons to go. Saying he was saying out loud made it real, made it certain. 

“Want to go apartment hunting with me? Rosa said there was this two bedroom a few blocks from here. I could turn one into a music studio or an office or both. I have enough saved up, or at least it sounded like it if Rosa was telling the truth about the price.” 

Michael was shoveling the rest of his eggs into his mouth, and he made a noise that sounded like an agreement so Alex took it as one. Alex was still somewhat terrified of staying, but he thought with Michael helping him and with Liz and Rosa to lean on, he’d be okay in Roswell.

“Tomorrow?” Michael asked. 

Alex nodded, already content to spend the whole day in this booth sitting next to his boyfriend. They had shown up early to help Rosa with the Saturday morning rush that had already died down. Michael seemed to think the same. His hand was resting on Alex’s thigh, and his head was on his shoulder. Alex wasn’t convinced he was awake, but he didn’t mind. He saw Liz pull out her phone and take a picture of them, thinking she was being subtle. He sent her a text that just said: can you send that to me?

She laughed, which woke Michael up, or at least caused him to raise his head. Alex just pat his curls and Michael laid back down, this time wrapping his arms around Alex. It hit Alex at that moment how gone for Michael he was, how utterly satisfied he would be to sit here with him for however long Michael would have him. 

“Can you send the picture Liz took to me too? I bet you look so good in it.”

Alex let out a laugh, “You look better.”


	7. Tuesday, 11:30 P.M.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The leftovers of Alex's panic attack end with a milkshake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Roswell New Mexico Week Day 7  
> Free Day
> 
> I originally wanted all these chapters to take place in the Crashdown, but since today is the last day of RNM Week, I figured I would try something new. This is probably the last chapter, but if I have more ideas, I’ll add them. I’m planning on wrapping it up with this chapter but it’s not like there was any plot to begin with so...

“Breathe, Alex, you have to breathe, please,” Michael begged. 

Michael was clutching himself. He needed something to keep his hands busy, but he knew that touching Alex was not what he needed right now. So he clutched himself into the corner of Alex’s new apartment, doing nothing (he felt like he was doing less than nothing) while Alex hyperventilated on his bed. 

“Alex, look at me. You’re safe, you’re in your home. It’s okay.”

“I’m in my home,” Alex whispered. 

“You’re in your home. You’re safe. Tell me you’re safe, Alex.” 

“I’m in my home, and I’m safe.” 

Michael slid to sit on the floor, never taking his eyes off of Alex. He could tell Alex was breathing deeper, focusing on bringing himself back. Michael didn’t say anything, just letting him get his breath back. He wanted to ask so many questions, make sure Alex was okay, but he held his mouth closed and sat silently. Michael knew the last thing Alex needed was to be bombarded with questions.

The panic attack came out of nowhere, and Alex couldn’t remember what caused it. He remembered being with Michael in his new kitchen, eating dinner, and cleaning up. He knew that three hours and twenty seven minutes had passed based on the time on his alarm clock, but he didn’t remember them. He still didn’t know how he got here. Here: sitting on his bed, body clenched tightly, Michael staring at him from his spot on the floor. 

“I’m sorry.”

It was so quiet that Michael almost missed it. He would have missed it if he hadn’t been watching Alex so intensely. But he heard it, and it caused his throat to tighten. He didn’t want an apology. He didn’t want Alex to feel bad about this. 

“Can I come over? Sit next to you?” Michael decided to ignore the apology for now. 

Alex nodded, and Michael moved slowly to sit as close to Alex as he thought Alex would let him. Alex scooted a little closer, not caring that his prosthetic was now uncomfortably angled against the bed, but it wasn’t like it had been comfortable before. Alex focused on lining up their sides: shoulder to shoulder, elbow to elbow, hip to hip, knee to knee, ankle to ankle. The warmth felt nice, and it grounded Alex in a way he couldn’t remember happening before. Michael let him sync up their bodies and then spoke. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Absolutely nothing,” Michael whispered softly like he was afraid of what would happen if he spoke too loud. 

“You didn’t sign up for this, so let me be sorry.” 

His voice didn’t leave room for arguing. Michael knew this, so he stopped trying to argue. Instead he asked what Alex needed, what he could do to help. He knew he couldn’t really do anything, but asking Alex what he could do made him feel at least a little bit helpful.

“Let me be sorry?” It came out as a question, betraying how Alex meant to say it.

But it showed that even Alex knew he had nothing to be sorry for. Michael took it for what it was: an acknowledgment of guilt Alex knew he didn’t need to feel but felt anyways. And there was nothing for Michael to do besides accept that. 

Michael nodded, but spoke, trying to appear casual, “I did sign up for this, though. I signed up for you. Whatever that looks like. However you are. I want all of it. There’s not a point to this,” He gestured between the two of them, letting his hands rest on Alex’s, “There’s no point to this if we don’t get all of each other.” 

“Oh,” It came out as a whisper. 

Michael didn’t say anything after that, just letting Alex sit in the words, hoping Alex knew he meant them. It took a minute, but eventually Alex rested his head on Michael’s shoulder. Michael wrapped his arm around Alex, letting him lean in a little more. 

“Was it about staying in Roswell?” Michael asked quietly, trying not to send Alex into another panic attack. 

Alex didn’t even make eye contact when he said, “Not even a little bit. I don’t know why it happened. I can’t pinpoint a moment or a subject that could’ve been the trigger, but I know it had absolutely nothing to do with my choice to stay.” 

Alex knew that if he had been freaked out by staying, Michael would have blamed himself for convincing him to stay. Though Alex had already told Michael he had his own list and his own reasons for staying. Maybe Michael asking him to stay was the icing on the cake but Alex had already made the cake on his own. 

“Does this happen a lot? Not knowing what causes it?”

Alex sighed, “I know we’ll probably have to talk about this eventually, but can we not do it now?”

“Shit, I’m sorry, of course we don’t have to talk about it now.”

“A distraction usually helps, after one of these.”

His voice wasn’t full of the flirtatious tone Michael had almost expected when he heard the word distraction. But he just nodded, waiting for Alex to say what he wanted to do. 

“Do you wanna go to the Crashdown? Get a milkshake?” Michael asked when Alex didn’t offer up any other ideas. 

Alex looked up at Michael, wondering how he knew what he was thinking. It didn’t matter. Alex just nodded, standing up shakily, holding onto Michael as he steadied himself. Both of his legs were aching in different ways, but it felt good to stand up. He stretched all of his limbs and enveloped Michael in a hug. It always helped Alex to feel in control after a panic attack, and he’d found that giving, instead of receiving, a hug was the best way to do that. Michael hugged back, a little bit tighter than usual, but Alex didn’t mind. 

“What was that for? Not that I’m complaining, I just-“ Michael trailed off.

“A thank you, for being here.”

Maybe eventually he would tell Michael the bigger reason, but for now Alex felt like this was just as truthful. 

“You don’t have to thank me, you know. I like being here. I like being with you.”

“Even when I’m like this?” Alex asked.

Michael took a moment. He didn’t like to see Alex like this because he knew Alex didn’t like to feel like this. But he always liked being with Alex. 

“I don’t like seeing you hurt, especially when I know I can’t do anything. But I always like being with you, always,” Michael settled on that as good enough for now, figuring he would have more opportunities to prove to Alex that he liked being with him. 

“You always manage to say things I can’t find a response to.”

Michael laughed lightly, grabbing Alex’s hand as they started walking to the Crashdown. It was only three blocks and the weather was nice despite the time of day. It was just cold enough for a light jacket, but not too cold that it was uncomfortable. Their hands being intertwined kept them warm. Alex stuffed the hand not holding onto Michael into his jacket pocket until he realized Michael’s hand was warmer and decided to hold Michael’s left hand with both of his. Rosa definitely commented on it when they walked in, but they both ignored it and Alex kept holding on.


End file.
